Photo by Pixabay via Pexels.com

By Sheila Johnson

If you are like most adults, you may be used to missing out on a little sleep each night. The CDC estimates that one in three adults in America is missing out on essential sleep nearly every single night. Even worse, children can struggle with sleep as well. Over time, a lack of sleep not only hurts our physical health, but it also takes a toll on our mental health.

Good news is that there are affordable solutions to help prevent sleep deprivation and promote health and wellness without doing serious damage to your bank account. Reach Counseling Solutions gives some budget-friendly steps to take now.

Refresh Your Bedrooms       

 Quality sleep often starts in the bedroom. If yours is brightly lit, too warm, or just not very cozy, it could be making it more difficult to relax at night. Keeping rooms dark with blackout curtains and blinds sends a signal to your brain that it’s time for rest. You can also keep your bedroom cooler with lower thermostat settings and fans. If you or your child prefers white noise, you can play it wirelessly using a Bluetooth speaker. Having the right mattress can also keep you sleeping through the night and help you avoid feeling sore and stiff the next morning.

 Diffusing essential oils is another way to set your bedrooms up for a good night’s rest. Aromatherapy has been used for thousands of years to help calm the senses and the mind. Lavender, Sandalwood and Roman Chamomile are just a few choices that will assist getting to sleep and staying asleep, which is essential for our wellbeing.

 Stay on a Consistent Schedule  

 If your family’s bedtimes vary between the week and weekend, it could have a negative impact on the overall quality of your sleep. Kids and adults can benefit from a consistent schedule at night and during the day. So as hard as it may seem, you should make sure everyone goes to bed at roughly the same time every night. Help your kids get better sleep by setting their bedtime and making them stick to it as much as possible.

 Younger kids tend to wake up fine on their own in the mornings, but teenagers may need a little encouragement to get out of bed early on the weekends. Make a point to set a schedule for them and yourself to keep your circadian rhythms in check. If you miss out on sleep, there is some evidence that making it up over the weekend can have benefits. But it’s not a good habit to get into, as a lack of sleep can lead to health issues. 

 Exercise and Play During the Day       

 When you think of sleep, you probably don’t give a lot of thought to exercise. There is, however, a direct connection between staying active and sustaining healthy sleep habits, as noted in Psychology Today. Adults and kids need to be active to promote quality sleep. Exercise and play can also encourage your brain to produce more endorphins, which aid in the reduction of pain and keep you feeling relaxed. Any type of cardio, like walking or using the elliptical, can help significantly improve the quality of your sleep, as can lifting weights and doing yoga.

Watch What You Eat Before Bed

 A midnight snack can satisfy your cravings, but if you choose the wrong foods, you could be sabotaging your sleep. You already know that caffeinated beverages can keep you up at night. What you may not realize, however, is that trace amounts of caffeine can also be found in your favorite munchies, such as certain chocolates, chocolate ice cream and even cereals. Avoid snacking on these foods in the hours before bed, and keep them away from kids as well.

You may also want to avoid spicy foods at dinner and keep your plate clear of anything else that may give you heartburn or indigestion at bedtime. If you do get hungry in the evening hours, try another healthy snack instead, like dried fruit and nuts, peanut butter and crackers or an apple with a few cheese slices.

All humans need sleep to survive. Make sure your family gets the rest they need by taking these steps to improve their sleep habits and help them live healthier lives.

Photo credit: Pexels (Pixabay)

About the author

Shelila Johnson is a ZENthusiast. She makes self-care a priority now that she’s seen the consequences when she doesn’t. She found a routine that balances work life with taking care of her mental, emotional, and physical health. You may find more information about Sheila on her website at www.wellsheila.net.

Photo by Victor Dueñas Teixeira on Unsplash

By Carmen Zuniga

Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse.

In other words, it is when someone forms a bond with someone who is emotionally or physically abusive. Typically, people who were abused as children usually form trauma bonds because they are accustomed to the cycle of abuse. A trauma bond is when one person forms an attachment to someone that shows them kindness and possibly showers them with gifts and affection. However, soon after the gifts and affection, they emotionally abuse their partner, and a cycle of abuse begins.

What is the cycle of abuse?

The cycle of abuse looks like this: the abuser causes harm; this could be lying, having an affair, verbal abuse, or even physical abuse. After the abuse, the abuser shows remorse and attempts to make up for their behavior. This can be through being romantic or buying flowers and apologizing. They may promise to change, and this gives the abused person hope that the abuse will never happen again, and the abuser’s behavior has changed. Unfortunately, things will remain calm for a short period of time, but soon after the abuser will repeat previous abuse and the cycle will continue.

What are the signs that a trauma bond has occurred?

The major sign is when the abused partner justifies the abuser’s behavior. They make excuses for the abuser and sometimes distance themselves from friends or family that encourage them to leave. Common things said are: “They’re just under a lot of stress right now”, “It’s my fault; I made them react that way”, or “I understand why they had to treat me that way.”

How can the trauma bond be broken?

There are many strategies one can use to leave an abusive relationship. However, if someone has formed a trauma bond, the leaving process will not be easy, and often therapy is needed for extra support.

• Keeping a journal can help the abusee keep log of all the times the abuse has occurred. This will help when they are in the hopeful part of the cycle. Keeping a log of events will aide in revealing the cycle of abuse.

• Looking at the relationship from a different perspective will also give some insight. For example, what advice would you give a friend who was in the same situation? Would you encourage them to leave or tell them to stay?” The abusee should also obtain a support group. This group can consist of friends, family, and even a therapist. Loved ones can offer an important perspective and insight into the situation.

• Avoid negative self-talk, self-blame, and engage in self-care. It is never the abusee’s fault that they were abused, no matter the circumstance. Challenging any negative self-talk that enters the mind is essential as well. Reframing the negative statements to positive self-talk will be empowering, but it will also take practice.

• Cut off contact completely if possible. The abuser will insist they are changing but remind yourself of how many times this has already happened. After contact is cut off, professional help may be needed. A therapist can help explore why the trauma bond was formed and what a healthy relationship looks like.

About the Author

Carmen Zuniga is a contributor to Reach Counseling Solutions, PLLC. She is also a counselor educator, wife, mom with experience with working with women who have experienced trauma and abusive relationships.

Pixabay

Anyone who’s ever changed jobs knows how stressful the transition can be, even if they’ve been in the workforce a long time. The excitement of a new opportunity also comes with worries. The experience can be even more daunting for those who are re-entering the workforce after a long period of unemployment, whether due to a layoff, termination, or the opportunity to raise a family.

If you’re having difficulty finding work, then you probably already feel an oppressive amount of stress. Fear not, though. There are things you can do to bring in some money while you wait to hear, “You’re hired.”

Do a personal skills inventory as you undergo a job search. Ask yourself what skills you can put to use right now as you look for a job. For example, are you good with a camera? If you don’t want to try to set up your own photography business, some professional photographers might need assistants when they shoot weddings or other social events. Do you have craft skills? Consider setting up a shop on Etsy to sell your products. Do you play a musical instrument or are you a trained singer? You can become a music teacher and offer lessons either at your home or at students’ homes. Plus, even when you start working full time, you can still perform many of these gigs as side jobs.

If you don’t have a specialized skill set, you could offer personal services. For instance, if you love animals, pet sitting is a growing field that needs reliable people. As a pet sitter, you would feed, walk, and spend time with your clients’ animals (mostly dogs, but some people also use sitters for cats and even large birds). If you have your own transportation, you might think about becoming an errand runner for senior citizens who can’t make it out of their houses every day to take care of tasks such as picking up dry cleaning or going to the grocery store. In addition to running errands, you can also offer yourself as a waiting service, where you would be hired to wait at a home for plumbing, cable, satellite TV, internet, or appliance repair technicians if the resident can’t be there.

What’s great about having these types of short-term gigs is that your schedule is a little more flexible so that you can be readily available for job interviews. While retail and restaurant jobs are definitely an option, your schedule might not be as flexible with them, and if you’re scheduled to work when you have an interview, you’ll probably need to find someone to cover for you or switch shifts. Plus, if you’re starting a new business of your own, it could even become a long-term, full-time gig.

If that happens to be a goal (or even a hope!), it’s in your best interest to start out properly. In other words, begin things professionally and officially, and you’ll frame things positively, right off the bat. That means creating a practical budget, writing a business plan that addresses your goals, choosing a business structure, and registering with your state.

Projections and marketing analyses will help with both your budget and business plan; the SBA has some terrific guides to help you along. As far as your structure, weigh your options carefully. Many new entrepreneurs prefer an LLC, thanks to the personal asset protection, scalability, and tax advantages it provides. Plus if you go that direction, it’s easy to form an LLC in NC and register with your state by going through an online service. You’ll be glad you went the extra mile with these steps — by treating your venture as a formal business, you set yourself up for success.

No matter which type of side gig you choose while you wait to become hired full time, keep in mind that these career and financial challenges can trigger all kinds of stress. If you need to develop a set of coping skills to get through this challenging part of your life, find support through Reach Counseling Solutions. 504-224-9959

Photo Credit: Pixabay.com

A short resource guide to help you find your mellow

Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash

By Sheila Johnson

Are your days more frazzled than they are fun? While adulting tends to be pretty serious at times, that doesn’t mean your life needs to be all about stress. In fact, if you’re feeling chronically stressed, it can take a toll on your well-being. Reach Counseling Solutions, PLLC has pulled together some resources to encourage you to give stress the heave-ho, once and for all!

Why You Need to Cut Stress

Stress can affect both your mental and physical health.

7 Strange Things Stress Can Do to Your Body

The Mind and Mental Health: How Stress Affects the Brain

How Does Stress Influence Behavior?

11 Signs and Symptoms of Too Much Stress

How to Relieve Stress

Take Advantage of Stress-Busting Services and Products

Learn about some services and products that can alleviate tension and make you feel more relaxed.

Counseling Sessions with Reach Counseling Solutions, PLLC Can Help You Relieve Stress

10 Huge Benefits of Therapeutic Massage
How to Reduce Stress Naturally with Acupuncture

How Reiki Can Help Reduce Stress & Anxiety

16 Popular Self-Care Products Under $30

Make Your Home a Haven

There are many modifications you can make to your home to make it a stress-free space.

Steps to Remove Negativity from the Home

15 Paint Colors That Reduce Stress

10 Best Indoor Plants for Anxiety and Stress Relief

 Burn Off Tension and Negative Energy

Exercise is not only beneficial for your body -- it can provide a big mental health boost, too.

Use a Fitness App for Easy Access to Various Exercise Videos

Working Out to Relieve Stress

9 Ways Mountain Biking Can Boost Your Mental Health

Yoga for Inner Peace: A Stress-Relieving Sequence + Daily Practice Challenge

Are you ready to kiss stress goodbye? Adjust your home environment, raise your activity levels, and add some stress-busting pro services to your health regimen. You’ll never have to feel the negative effects of stress again!

Shelila Johnson is a ZENthusiast. She makes self-care a priority now that she’s seen the consequences when she doesn’t. She found a routine that balances work life with taking care of her mental, emotional, and physical health. You may find more information about Sheila on her website at www.wellsheila.net.

Photo by Obi Onyeador on Unsplash

By: Martyna Bobek

The “strong black woman” label suggests that all black women have superhumanstrength and can handle everything independently, without any help. Black women are often expected to uphold consistent strength and resilience, a concept is also known as “superwoman syndrome”.

What about the women who are tired or need support systems, therapy, and understanding?

To live up to this image, and sometimes a burden, of the "superwoman persona" can mean sacrificing your right to ask for help. These labels are damaging and detrimental to the health of millions of black women. How does one share her struggles with depression when she’s convinced the world of her strength? A recent study on psychological stress in black women suggests 5 common elements that factor into the concept of a superwoman persona:

● Feeling obligated to suppress emotions.

● Feeling obligated to display an image of strength.

● Resistance to being vulnerable

● An intense drive to succeed despite limited resources.

● Feeling obligated to help others.

These factors often continue to damage and dehumanize black women. The factors become yet another expectation to uphold— the expectation that you can handle anything without an emotional impact. And suddenly, the strength feels like it's disappearing. You become angry and grow resentful, wondering how everyone else has managed to cope so well.

So how do we lessen the negative effects of the superwoman schema? Depression amongst black women continues to be an enormous concern. And unfortunately, the concept of mental health is still stigmatized within the black community, leaving women to suffer on their own.

Stigma

The Black community has fought with beliefs related to stigma, help-seeking, and psychological and emotional openness, narrowing the quality of care received to treat mental health conditions. As a black woman, you may have been told to “hang in there” because you’re a strong person. You may have never even witnessed anyone in your family express, relate to, or readily admit to experiencing depression. Conversations about mental health and wellness may not have been welcomed. And with an additional lack of representation and ongoing trauma within society, the inner battle of a mental health problem can feel much more lonely.

Although the initiatives that encourage black women to seek help for issues like depression are increasing, a widespread notion that these ailments don't exist is still a reality for many. It's an extension of the stigma surrounding mental health care in the black community that "black people don't get depressed." For a woman who is expected to be strong and confident, depression just doesn't get taken seriously.

There isn't much time for weakness if you're supposed to be a strong black woman. Black women continue to power their way through depression on their own when what they really need is someone to listen and provide support. Incorrect stereotypes are especially dangerous and encourage avoidant help-seeking behavior. This only deters treatment and worsens mental health challenges. How long will it take before we acknowledge the wounds that are not visible?

Don't Dismiss Your Experiences

On many occasions, mental health stigma is further increased by a lack of education and information. Not being able to name or understand what you're experiencing makes depression that much more painful and dark. Even with a loving family, your own home, a car, and healthy relationships, your experience is valid. Mental health issues can show differently depending on the person. It may look and feel differently for black women than it does for anyone else. Clinical depression is a whole-body experience that affects a person's thoughts, mood, behavior, appetite, energy, and interest level in things they typically find interesting. In addition to the common symptoms of depression, you may also encounter unique and misunderstood symptoms.

Physical Symptoms

If you have physical symptoms that a doctor can't explain, they may be a sign of depression. Stress can display itself through headaches, backaches, stomachaches, tiredness, and other symptoms. These signs are commonly misunderstood because they're not always understood as a sign of depression. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that black women often report physical symptoms to their doctor, like body aches and pains, when experiencing depression. And yet, a doctor who's not culturally skilled might not see these symptoms as a mental health concern.

Clinical depression is far more common than many might think. Apart from getting a proper diagnosis, there's also a shortage of black mental health professionals. You may have trouble finding, or connecting with or trusting a mental health provider who can't relate to your experiences. Asking for help is a very personal endeavor, so take the time to find someone you're comfortable with, even if it takes a few attempts. If you don't feel like you can trust the person you're getting help from, find someone else. Getting help isn't always frank and can be frustrating at times, but don't let it stop you from trying.

Getting Effective Treatment

There is no one-size-fits-all remedy. Take the time to identify what serves you. For those experiencing clinical depression, treatments typically include:

● Seeing a therapist or psychologist.

● Taking medication.

● Lifestyle changes.

● Residential treatment.

If you're worried about cultural relatability, seeing a black therapist or psychiatrist can make treatment a bit easier.

Acceptance Isn't Declaring Defeat

It's a commitment to put yourself first. It is so tiring to be strong. And you don't need to be perfect all the time. Let others know that you're struggling; it doesn't make you weak. It just makes you human. Quieting the hurt will not help you heal. It is time to recognize that black women are not shatterproof. No matter what mental health issue you are facing, remember that you are never alone.

About the author

Martyna Bobek is a freelance writer, Psychotherapist & a Certified Trauma Professional. Her background includes working in trauma research, program development, and criminal justice reform.

References

How a 'Superwoman' persona affects black women's health

https://www.futurity.org/black-women-discrimination-superwoman-persona-2173112/

Black Women & Depression: Signs & Strategies – Dr. Adia Gooden.

https://dradiagooden.com/2016/04/13/black-women-depression-signs-strategies/

https://nami.org/home