Photo by Obi Onyeador on Unsplash

By: Martyna Bobek

The “strong black woman” label suggests that all black women have superhumanstrength and can handle everything independently, without any help. Black women are often expected to uphold consistent strength and resilience, a concept is also known as “superwoman syndrome”.

What about the women who are tired or need support systems, therapy, and understanding?

To live up to this image, and sometimes a burden, of the "superwoman persona" can mean sacrificing your right to ask for help. These labels are damaging and detrimental to the health of millions of black women. How does one share her struggles with depression when she’s convinced the world of her strength? A recent study on psychological stress in black women suggests 5 common elements that factor into the concept of a superwoman persona:

● Feeling obligated to suppress emotions.

● Feeling obligated to display an image of strength.

● Resistance to being vulnerable

● An intense drive to succeed despite limited resources.

● Feeling obligated to help others.

These factors often continue to damage and dehumanize black women. The factors become yet another expectation to uphold— the expectation that you can handle anything without an emotional impact. And suddenly, the strength feels like it's disappearing. You become angry and grow resentful, wondering how everyone else has managed to cope so well.

So how do we lessen the negative effects of the superwoman schema? Depression amongst black women continues to be an enormous concern. And unfortunately, the concept of mental health is still stigmatized within the black community, leaving women to suffer on their own.

Stigma

The Black community has fought with beliefs related to stigma, help-seeking, and psychological and emotional openness, narrowing the quality of care received to treat mental health conditions. As a black woman, you may have been told to “hang in there” because you’re a strong person. You may have never even witnessed anyone in your family express, relate to, or readily admit to experiencing depression. Conversations about mental health and wellness may not have been welcomed. And with an additional lack of representation and ongoing trauma within society, the inner battle of a mental health problem can feel much more lonely.

Although the initiatives that encourage black women to seek help for issues like depression are increasing, a widespread notion that these ailments don't exist is still a reality for many. It's an extension of the stigma surrounding mental health care in the black community that "black people don't get depressed." For a woman who is expected to be strong and confident, depression just doesn't get taken seriously.

There isn't much time for weakness if you're supposed to be a strong black woman. Black women continue to power their way through depression on their own when what they really need is someone to listen and provide support. Incorrect stereotypes are especially dangerous and encourage avoidant help-seeking behavior. This only deters treatment and worsens mental health challenges. How long will it take before we acknowledge the wounds that are not visible?

Don't Dismiss Your Experiences

On many occasions, mental health stigma is further increased by a lack of education and information. Not being able to name or understand what you're experiencing makes depression that much more painful and dark. Even with a loving family, your own home, a car, and healthy relationships, your experience is valid. Mental health issues can show differently depending on the person. It may look and feel differently for black women than it does for anyone else. Clinical depression is a whole-body experience that affects a person's thoughts, mood, behavior, appetite, energy, and interest level in things they typically find interesting. In addition to the common symptoms of depression, you may also encounter unique and misunderstood symptoms.

Physical Symptoms

If you have physical symptoms that a doctor can't explain, they may be a sign of depression. Stress can display itself through headaches, backaches, stomachaches, tiredness, and other symptoms. These signs are commonly misunderstood because they're not always understood as a sign of depression. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that black women often report physical symptoms to their doctor, like body aches and pains, when experiencing depression. And yet, a doctor who's not culturally skilled might not see these symptoms as a mental health concern.

Clinical depression is far more common than many might think. Apart from getting a proper diagnosis, there's also a shortage of black mental health professionals. You may have trouble finding, or connecting with or trusting a mental health provider who can't relate to your experiences. Asking for help is a very personal endeavor, so take the time to find someone you're comfortable with, even if it takes a few attempts. If you don't feel like you can trust the person you're getting help from, find someone else. Getting help isn't always frank and can be frustrating at times, but don't let it stop you from trying.

Getting Effective Treatment

There is no one-size-fits-all remedy. Take the time to identify what serves you. For those experiencing clinical depression, treatments typically include:

● Seeing a therapist or psychologist.

● Taking medication.

● Lifestyle changes.

● Residential treatment.

If you're worried about cultural relatability, seeing a black therapist or psychiatrist can make treatment a bit easier.

Acceptance Isn't Declaring Defeat

It's a commitment to put yourself first. It is so tiring to be strong. And you don't need to be perfect all the time. Let others know that you're struggling; it doesn't make you weak. It just makes you human. Quieting the hurt will not help you heal. It is time to recognize that black women are not shatterproof. No matter what mental health issue you are facing, remember that you are never alone.

About the author

Martyna Bobek is a freelance writer, Psychotherapist & a Certified Trauma Professional. Her background includes working in trauma research, program development, and criminal justice reform.

References

How a 'Superwoman' persona affects black women's health

https://www.futurity.org/black-women-discrimination-superwoman-persona-2173112/

Black Women & Depression: Signs & Strategies – Dr. Adia Gooden.

https://dradiagooden.com/2016/04/13/black-women-depression-signs-strategies/

https://nami.org/home

by Shiela Johnson

Photo by nappy from Pexels

Change is usually hard to cope with, but it’s even more challenging if it’s unexpected. Most of us could never have anticipated how much of an impact COVID-19 would have on our lives. Even though the pandemic is slowing down in many areas, it continues to affect just about every aspect of our daily lives. Below, find ways to cope with the changes so you can feel your best and thrive under the new norm.

Establish Routines

Quarantine measures have been relaxed in most places, but it’ll be awhile until you can go out in the community to do everything you used to. You’re probably still spending more time than usual at home even with restrictions being lifted. With so much unstructured time, it’s crucial that you develop routines to maintain your mental health.

Not only do routines create stability, they also help you stay on task and reduce stress. If your old routines have been put on hold due to the pandemic, it may help to work on establishing new ones. If you don’t know where to start, try developing a nightly ritual or making a daily yoga or exercise goal.

Bedtime rituals will help you relax and may even improve the quality of your sleep. Given that sleep is so important for your mental and physical health, striving for good sleep habits is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Refocus on Your Goals

Being stuck inside can feel like a drag, but it also provides a perfect opportunity for self-reflection. With more down time, you will have more chances to meditate on things such as your career, relationships, fitness, finances, and personal goals. If you don’t have any specific ideas for making progress in these areas right now, spend some time setting goals.

Make a Career Move

Many people have begun to reconsider their careers in light of the pandemic. For example, the pandemic may have made you realize that you want more job security, or that you want a more flexible career that allows you to work from home.

Becoming a freelancer is one of the best ways to launch a work-from-home career that allows you to put your skills to work. For example, if you’re skilled with image-editing software, becoming a professional photo editor is a perfect way to turn your talents into a career.

Focus on Your Mental Health

The pandemic has caused a number of negative mental health effects in the general population, such as increased anxiety and depression. However, Medical News Today highlights the fact that the mental health impact has been even greater among minority groups and people of color.

Now more than ever, it’s important to seek out mental health help. The pandemic shouldn't stop you from getting help if you need it. There are many ways to seek out mental health help through text, by phone, or in person. You can also use online therapy from Reach Counseling Solutions. Online therapy is often easier to fit into your schedule, but during the pandemic, it also allows you to get help while staying at home.

Find Ways to Be Self-Sufficient

It’s empowering and comforting to be able to be self-sufficient and take care of things yourself. However, it’s downright stressful if you’re not prepared. For many people, the pandemic has revealed a lot of areas where more preparation is necessary. For example, if you’ve been cutting your own hair or cooking more meals at home due to pandemic closures, it’s easier if you’ve got the right tools for the job. Having shears, clippers, and other personal grooming supplies on hand can make all the difference if you can’t make it to the salon. Likewise, having good cooking gear can make or break a home-cooked meal.

Coping with the pandemic is a challenge on many levels. While some things will return to normal once all the restrictions are lifted, other things will likely be forever changed. Being able to adapt to new circumstances will help you thrive no matter what changes become permanent after the pandemic is over.

Shelila Johnson is a ZENthusiast. She makes self-care a priority now that she’s seen the consequences when she doesn’t. She found a routine that balances work life with taking care of her mental, emotional, and physical health. You may find more information about Sheila on her website at www.wellsheila.net.

We are now listed in the Therapy for Black Girls Directory! Check it out below:

Photo by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash

Photo by Eli DeFaria on Unsplash

By: Sheila Johnson

We live in a world that is always moving; it’s busy and sometimes chaotic. In the midst of the hustle and the bustle, it’s easy to neglect self-care. Unfortunately, it’s a vicious cycle. We try to get as much done as possible, forget to take care of ourselves, and because we forget to take care of ourselves we can’t operate at our peak, causing our productivity to suffer.

If you find yourself in this situation, you can turn things around, even when money is tight and time is limited. Here’s some advice for working budget-friendly self-care into your routine.

For the Under the Weather Days

No one ever plans to feel sick and experience symptoms that range from a runny nose to a rash, from a cough to an upset stomach. To prevent or lessen the symptoms that can get you down in your moment of need, prepare in advance by having a well-stocked medicine cabinet. Particularly in the COVID-19 era, it’s apparent how important it is to have the necessities.

We’re not talking about hoarding or spending a ton of money on goods, but you should acquire what most households need in one calendar year and spend what you’d spend annually anyway. In addition to having meds for the common headache, allergies, and coughs, you should also have some flu medication accessible. According to Fitter Living, a good flu medication won’t cure or prevent the flu, but it will help alleviate symptoms such as sore throat, fever, body aches, and so forth.

Move and Groove

Getting your body moving at least 30 minutes a day will do wonders for you mentally and physically. Physical activity doesn’t require an expensive gym membership. For a low price or no cost, there are thousands of online videos that can walk you through almost any type of exercise right from your own home.

Alternatively, you can simply get outdoors and hit the pavement. You can get a great workout with a daily walk or run, use your body as a natural weight, and work on balance and flexibility. You can also get some inexpensive weights, resistance bands, jump rope, and a yoga mat to make your own gym for whatever workout you want to do.

Clear Your Mind

We take care of our loved ones, work, pets, home, and potentially our physical well-being (i.e. nourishment, sleep, exercise), but oftentimes forget to take care of our mental health. Unfortunately, neglecting our mental health sometimes doesn’t come to light until the pot is already boiling over. To make sure you remain centered, here are some things you can do:

●     Keep a journal.

●     Mediate either on your own or through inexpensive subscriptions to walk you through it.

●     See a counselor/therapist (many insurances will cover the majority, if not all the costs).

●     Depending on how it affects you, avoid too much or all caffeine.

●     Take time off from work (use vacation time and personal time).

●     Find a calming activity before bed.

You Are What You Eat

The food you eat impacts you physically and mentally. Not only does food play a key role in your weight, but it is critical for your organs to function well, for your skin to look great, and to increase and maintain your energy. Additionally, too much junk food and not enough fruits, vegetables, and protein will result in brain fog, memory issues, and fatigue.

Aim to have the right daily proportions of fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, whole grains, lean meats, and fish. Healthy eating doesn’t have to be expensive; you can save money if you shop in-season, stick to simple ingredients that you can reuse, and shop at the right places.

Investing in your self-care is not selfish or a waste of time. You will be your best self, more productive, and better equipped to help others if your needs are met. Some of your self-care will require payment, such as doctor appointments and vitamins, but others, like exercise and mental health management, are either low in cost or free. There is no reason not to do what you can to take care of yourself and make a habit out of it.

Shelila Johnson is a ZENthusiast. She makes self-care a priority now that she’s seen the consequences when she doesn’t. She found a routine that balances work life with taking care of her mental, emotional, and physical health. You may find more information about Sheila on her website at www.wellsheila.net.

Photo by Charles Deluvio (@charlesdeluvio) on Unsplash

As a child, I grew up around people who struggled with addictions and words like Codependency, addictive personality, and even “addict behavior” became very common to me. It wasn’t until I was in graduate school that I learned that Codependency doesn’t always have to be related directly to caring for a person with an addiction. Generally speaking, anyone in relationships, whether romantic or friendly can be co-dependent. By definition, Codependency is “ a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity.” It is NOT a mental health disorder.

Typically, codependent relationships are one-sided where one person is giving disporportionately to the other person by sacrificing their needs. In sacrificing, one partner may be attempting to please the other person. While “people pleasing” is another hot button topic, one thing that is a consistent theme for many codependent people is trauma and even childhood emotional neglect. It isn’t always about making someone else happy; for many it is often an act of survival that they may have learned as a child and it can feel very shameful.

8 Signs that you may be codependent:

• You may be very self-critical.

• You carry a lot of guilt and shame.

• You have difficulty setting boundaries.

• You may be quick to ignore your own feelings and needs in order to focus on the needs and feelings of someone else.

• You may focus on other people’s problems even if it negatively affects your physical health, mental health, or even your finances.

• Trust, intimacy, and connecting with others may be a struggle.

• Routines, predictability, and consistency are majorly important to you.

• You may overwork or overschedule yourself.

Can you recover from codependency?

Consistent therapy is recommended if you struggle with codependency. Typical treatment often involves getting in touch with deep-rooted feelings of hurt, loss, and even anger will help to reconstruct healthy relationship dynamics. If you think that you may be codependent and you are ready for help to explore your relationships, please contact us for more information about appointments.

By Brandi Lewis, M.Ed, LPC